You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
