I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
