You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
