This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
