There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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