im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
