OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
MIDGETS
????
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
