I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
