I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
