i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
