His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
