thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
