Are we in a gay sports bar?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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