my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize