everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
