If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
sarcasm needs its own font
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
