Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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