walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
