No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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