i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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