He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
