I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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