Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
