Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
