I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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