I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
