I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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