Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
