he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
