he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
