but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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