i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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