The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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