I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
