I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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