I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Mom said you looked used
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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