she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
