if you like me you must not know who I am
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i need some magic done to my vagina
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
