therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
