Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
