Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize