That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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