He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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