So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
