i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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