I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
