i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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