My hair reeks of homosexuality.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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