Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
