If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
