I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
