hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize