I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i will never coherently bang her
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
