sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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