He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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