Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
