It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
