so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
