So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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