Moan for me like Helen Keller
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
