Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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