i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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