Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
