Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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