honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
