Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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